


Habits

by ShaolinQueen



Series: Drowning and Resurfacing [3]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Claustrophobia, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Family Drama, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, M/M, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Needs a Hug, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:01:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29255628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaolinQueen/pseuds/ShaolinQueen
Summary: Just as it was always expected that Andy would plan their next trip, or that Joe would buy their groceries, it became painfully obvious to Nile that every single one of them, including herself, took for granted that of course Nicky would be the one to remind everybody that they could still bring some good to the world. That it was their mission as immortals, the best use of their gift.Except that he just stated the opposite, to everybody’s surprise and anguish.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: Drowning and Resurfacing [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2083350
Comments: 45
Kudos: 217





	1. Habits Overturned

**Author's Note:**

> And I’m back. Couldn’t stay away for too long because I love this fandom too much! Once again, reading the previous works is not mandatory, but it does help with context and characterisation. 
> 
> As usual, massive thanks to **ilostmyothersock** for correcting my silly mistakes!
> 
> **Chiến Thắng = victory/victorious in Vietnamese. Nicolò = victorious. This is Quynh’s special nickname for Nicky.**

One thing that Nile noticed quite early into her new life was that habits and expectations had a completely different weight in the context of their immortal existences. 

The fact that Andy’s weapon of choice was an ancient double-ax, or really any other ax if her trustworthy labrys wasn’t around, wasn’t simply a stubborn stance against modern weapons. Nile had seen her handling a broad array of guns on multiple occasions, after all.

Or Nicky, another clear example, who would always bring his longsword to every single mission, even the ones where his only task was to stay perched on a roof with his sniper’s rifle, nowhere near to any melee action.

No, it wasn’t that simple. The more time Nile would spend with them, the more it became clear that these were behaviours that had been consolidated over the course of several centuries, or even millennia in Andy’s case, and defining them mere habits was quite the understatement. They were closer to their own unique language, their true identity or even comparable to a trait of their DNA.

To be perfectly honest she deemed quite admirable that they had adapted to modern days so quickly, considering that some of these habits had been around for much longer than the invention of any firearm, not to mention computers, cell phones or any new digital device. 

It actually made a lot of sense that Booker, the youngest of the original family - the one with the least time to build his routines, had also been the one to catch up quickest when it came to technology and new creations.

Something that took Nile a little longer to notice, because it wasn’t as evident and it also required spending actual downtime with her newly found family, was that along with some ancient fighting traditions, they also had some natural expectations from each other, that applied to their normal daily lives. 

For a reason unknown to Nile, Joe was the one who would go out for groceries or any other errand, more often than anybody else, while Nicky would be the one to prepare their meals, most of the time. Any alternative would happen under exceptional circumstances or accompanied by an apology or at least an explanation.

_I’m sorry, I really want to finish this painting, Andy would you go to the market, please, we are out of milk._

Or, _Do you all mind if we order takeout today, I’m afraid I completely lack any inspiration to make dinner this evening._

Andy, on the other hand, was usually the one suggesting a new destination for their trips, a new adventure or exploration, except for that time at the very beginning when Joe had proposed Malta and she had agreed right away, no questions asked. That had also been the first time they had split up in different accommodations, as Nicky and Joe owned an actual house by the sea but Andy had refused to stay there despite the extra rooms available.

_You’ll thank me later, Nile, trust me_.

Once Booker and Quynh joined them back, Nile was able to notice their habits as well. That feat only took several extra months, as both immortals had to fight many inner demons before feeling comfortable enough to show their true nature.

Eventually though, Nile learnt that Booker not only liked to watch sports on TV with Joe, but he would also be the one who researched the local amateurish team that they could safely join for occasional matches.

On those occasions Nile had been surprised to see that while Andy, Quynh and herself would gladly join as spectators (mainly to tease Joe and Booker, who were far from highly talented), Nicky always declined their invites, favouring a quiet night by himself, most likely with a book or focused on some complicated recipe.

Nobody was ever surprised or disappointed by that, because it was just the way Nicky was. 

It took Quynh even longer than Booker to become more like her old self again. At the beginning they found themselves trying to avoid first and then courageously confronting any potential trigger that could upset the emotional balance she had worked so hard to maintain during the weeks it had taken her to track Booker and then to rejoin her family. 

Andy had spent months researching and helping her wife in any possible way, and Nicky hadn’t been that far behind, as there were often moments that only he would know how to deal with and lots of _Chiến Thắng let’s go for a walk, I feel like I’m suffocating between these walls._

In the end, to Nile’s (and Booker’s) great surprise and even greater amusement, it became quite obvious that Nicky was not only Quynh’s preferred go-to person when the world was a bit too much to bear, but that he was also a very willing participant in her neverending mischief.

It also quickly became evident that both Andy and Joe were quite used _and resigned_ to that dynamic, as the only emotion that they displayed was a mix of relief and contentment that things in their family were actually starting to look normal again. 

Little by little, and a bit shyly at the beginning, Nile as well had learnt to build her own role into these behaviours, volunteering to buy some groceries even before Joe would ask Andy to go on his behalf, or asking Nicky whether it would be okay if she made lunch that day _I’m really craving my mom’s mac & cheese recipe_.

To her delight and relief, all Nile’s suggestions were taken in stride, with curious looks from Andy, Joe’s beaming gratitude and Nicky’s tiny smiles. 

Feeling encouraged, welcomed and fairly at ease in very little time, she also started introducing her own unique traditions, such as movie marathons and shameless Netflix binge watching. They particularly came in handy during Quynh’s familiarisation with the modern world. 

That’s how Nile easily became responsible for a thorough crash course in current trends, social media, memes, contemporary music and anything that would pique the other immortals’ interest.

While all of them, and Joe, Nicky and Booker especially, were very curious and did their best to keep up with anything new, having an actual person that could explain or answer their questions because she had actually lived the evolution of Instagram or the death of Facebook, made things much easier. After all there were only so many excuses that they could come up with strangers, without raising suspicions on why on earth an apparent thirty year old would be so ignorant on things that were obviously common knowledge. 

So while this gave Quynh the opportunity to learn things from scratch, and to Joe and Nicky to get a pro-level upgrade, Nile noticed that for Booker it was also a potential way to slowly re-enter their family dynamics and find his place again.

Bringing Quynh back had given him the invaluable chance to cut his exile extremely short, but it had also meant that things were still quite tense between him and his family, no matter how happy everybody was about the unexpected turn of events that had led to Andromache’s reunion with her lost wife and Nicolò’s and Joe’s with their lost sister.

Nile observed curiously how behaviours slowly evolved. What quite soon became very apparent was that things hadn’t been smooth long before the betrayal, which wasn’t surprising at all, otherwise said betrayal probably wouldn’t have taken place in the first place. 

After having been informed by Andy of the open declaration in Merrick’s lab - _You and Nicky always had each other_ \- it was also much easier to spot the subconscious resentment that would sometimes resurface despite Booker’s best efforts. 

What made this situation even more difficult was that nobody could accuse Joe and Nicky of being _that kind of couple_. For sure Joe was incredibly talented in the art of waxing poetic over Nicky, but it rarely came unsolicited or out of context. There were brief kisses sometimes and lingering touches, but the more Nile thought about it the more she noticed that it wasn’t even that common to see them sitting next to each other, at the kitchen table or on the sofa. 

There wasn’t much that she, or anybody else really, could do. In a sense things were even worse now, Booker’s bitter solitude even more evident, since Andy’s pain had been reduced tenfold by Quynh’s return and Nile herself, despite sharing some of the frustrations and unanswered questions, didn’t possess the tragic life experience, nor the natural inclination, to become as sullen or resentful as the French man was.

And yet things did improve, in a way.

It took months but a football match eventually appeared on the TV screen and two chairs were positioned in front of it. 

It took even longer before the first absurd bet was placed in the middle of dinner, or before a first edition of a book was placed on his nightstand. 

Nile couldn't help but notice that all these olive branches were to Booker from Joe, Nicky, and Andy, and that Booker never extended any himself in return. She also guessed that this had probably been an old dynamic as well, that most likely Booker had always been too emotionally broken to fully accept his immortal life and as a consequence his immortal family, that his family had always been the one to go the extra mile for him. 

He seemed genuinely repentant about the whole Copley/Merrick disaster though and Nile was quite surprised to see that at the moment that mere remorse was enough for Andy, Nicky and Joe. 

That the same people who had sentenced him to a hundred years of exile were now willing to adapt so easily to these new circumstances. 

It filled Nile with admiration and affection, because even though she had naively deemed an apology could have been enough, now she was able to clearly see that their hurt couldn’t possibly go away overnight, that their wounds were too deep and still bleeding. And yet they had decided to take Booker back, no matter how hard it was. They had decided that the chance to have the whole family united was too precious not to be grabbed. 

Quite proverbially though, things had gotten worse before actually getting better.

* * *

_Courtesy of Copley, they were all staying in the same building, where they had a flat per couple for the immortal husbands and wives, and a flat each for Nile and Booker. That meant they didn’t always eat together._

_Andy, Quynh and Nile were at Joe’s and Nicky’s more often than not, their delicious food too good to be ignored, but each one of them made an effort to have the whole family dining together at least twice a week._

_It was one of the many tacit agreements aimed to restore the old family habits._

_That particular night Nicky had once again outdone himself, serving basically a small banquet, so it was no surprise that they were all experiencing a bit of a food coma. They lazily enjoyed some post dinner drinks and started recalling old stories while Nile observed with a small smile the casual way Nicky’s hand was holding Joe’s over the table, both sporting the same tender look while listening to Quynh’s anecdote. Even after months the fact that they could listen to her voice was a miracle, a blessing they would never take for granted. Not anymore._

_Booker seemed quite relaxed as well as quite fascinated by the tale, as did Andy, whose expression was also soft and besotted and more at ease than Nile had ever seen her before._

_Her expression did change a bit though, more on the cautious side, when Quynh finished her story. Andy waited a couple of seconds before addressing her family._

_“Copley reached out to me today. He has a potential mission.”_

_They hadn’t taken any jobs in over a year, too busy healing and recovering, and Nile clearly felt everybody’s demeanor change, hers included, as suddenly they were all alert and interested in what Andy had started to share._

_“One of his old contacts at the CIA has strong evidence of a massive organ trafficking operation currently happening in Poland,” Andy continued to explain. “It sounded right up our alley and I thought it’s about time we resumed doing some good.”_

_Quynh seemed immediately interested, starting to ask questions to get more details. Shortly after, together with Booker and Joe they were discussing logistics and a rough plan of action._

_“I don’t know if this is a good idea.”_

_Nile didn’t realise that Nicky hadn’t actually taken part in the conversation until he broke his silence. As usual he had spoken quietly, unobtrusively, and yet everybody froze and stopped talking, five sets of eyes suddenly on him._

_He seemed unperturbed when he continued as a way of explanation. “I don’t think we are ready.”_

_In the eerie silence that followed that statement, the first thing that Nile noticed was the flash of vulnerable surprise that marred Andy’s features. It was gone in a second, but it left a sour expression on the oldest immortal that now looked more worried than anything else._

_Nile’s eyes moved to Quynh, who seemed upset and/or pissed off and wasn’t really doing anything to hide it. At whom it wasn’t clear, certainly not at her Chiến Thắng (she never was) but she kept glaring at Booker, thus inducing Nile to do the same. What she saw there was an expression that it was hard to decipher, but that looked very suspiciously like guilt._

_Finally Joe, who was squeezing Nicky’s hand a bit tighter, thumb moving in a soft caress. He had a sad look in his eyes, an open concern that sent a painful pang of sadness through Nile’s heart in return._

_Judging by everybody’s reaction, this wasn’t a normal dynamic for their family. To Nile herself it felt quite alien, to hear Nicky utter those words, hopeless and unsure. She remembered how humbly confident, how hopeful he had sounded the first night they had met, despite Booker’s and Andy’s cynical attitude. “_ _We fight for what we think is right._ _.._ _I believe it’s because we’re meant to find each other. It’s like destiny._ _”_

_And even after, despite the betrayal, and the torture, and the broken family, he had always been the first to share a positive thought or encouragement. Not to mention his relentless effort, together with Andy, to improve Quynh’s mental wellbeing._

_Just as it was always expected that Andy would plan their next trip, or that Joe would buy their groceries, it became painfully obvious to Nile that_ _every single one of them, including herself, took for granted that of course Nicky would be the one to remind everybody that they could still bring some good to the world. That it was their mission as immortals, the best use of their gift._

_Except that he just stated the opposite, to everybody’s surprise and anguish._

_The silence stretched a bit more but Andy broke it before it became too awkward._

_“It’s getting late. We can talk more tomorrow and decide what to do.”_

_She seemed a little unsettled, but her statement clearly left no room for argument_ _. Her gaze lingered for a couple of extra seconds on Joe’s and Nile had the feeling that some non verbal communication was currently happening._

_They all said their goodbyes then. Nile half hugged Nicky and thanked him for the delicious food once again, while Joe kept his arm possessively around his husband’s waist, absently stroking his side with that sad expression still in his eyes._

_Nicky didn’t seem surprised by the abrupt end of the evening, nor did he object to it - something that he had done multiple times in the past, always offering one drink more or another serving of dessert._

_Nile couldn’t also help but notice that even though it wasn’t really their habit to be too tactile in front of their family, Nicky let Joe cling to him like a very affectionate limpet during their goodbyes._

_She felt bad, although she wasn’t exactly sure about what. She felt a deep sense of uneasiness, but she also thought that everybody was entitled to a bit of a pessimistic moment, that Nicky would most likely revert back to his usual positive self soon enough._

_What actually happened was quite the opposite, with everybody else pampering Nicky instead._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’ve enjoyed the first part of this new instalment of my series. Any feedback is always much much appreciated!
> 
> Coming next: all the hurt and all the comfort. Family feels!


	2. Habits Restored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of and the day after.

As soon as they closed the door behind the last of their guests, Nicky found himself engulfed in one of his husband’s infamous bear hugs. He actually didn’t realise how much he needed one until he felt Joe’s warmth, his strong hold on his shoulders and a gentle massage on his nape. 

It was so familiar and comforting and Nicky relished the feeling, inhaling his husband’s scent and nuzzling the soft skin of his neck.

They stayed like that for a long moment and Nicky felt centered again, at peace, safe in a way that only Joe, always Joe, was able to provide. _Because they always had each other_. 

_You and Nicky always had each other- You and Nicky always had each other- You and Nicky always-_

Nicky’s breath hitched and he suddenly felt like crying. Maybe a hundred years had been too many... Twenty, he would have been fine with twenty… Six months though, or now after more than a year, it wasn’t enough, not even close to what they needed to heal.

He still felt so raw, so vulnerable, so unsure. He was still so angry at Booker, for saying those things to Joe at the lab, and so angry at himself, every time he would feel guilty for merely having Joe by his side and seeking his comfort. For not being alone. 

But what right did Booker have to make those accusations? What right to compare his pain to Andromache’s? 

And how could he be the brother who had betrayed them for the tiniest chance to get a way out of his immortality but also the one who had brought Quynh back to her family after centuries of agonising separation?

Nicky was so immensely grateful for Booker bringing Quynh back to them, but he was also so scared that Booker would resent Quynh as well now, or Andy, just because they weren’t suffering like him anymore. Would he then try to drag Nile under with him, to his pit of despair? 

She was too new, she was too young and so pure, and she didn’t deserve to experience so much bitterness, so soon… 

Nicky’s thoughts came to an abrupt stop when he suddenly felt Joe hold his face between his hands. He found himself face to face with the imploring look of his husband’s beautiful eyes and once again his breath hitched in his throat. 

“Talk to me, Habibi, let me help you. What do you need?”

Nicky didn’t know what he needed. Or maybe he needed too many things. Like Quynh to stop having horrible nightmares every other night, or risking a panic attack every time they were caught in the rain without an umbrella. 

He needed Andy to stop being so reckless, still, to start taking care of herself more, for her health, for her wife’s.

He needed Booker to stop looking at him and Joe with such guilt and then resenting his own existence the moment after. He needed him to accept his family, his destiny, his life. 

He needed Nile to enjoy her immortality to its full potential, without having to deal with a new emotional breakdown of her newly found family every week. 

He needed Joe, his heart, the love of his life to stop dreaming about his brain on the floor, to stop worrying about Nicky and his lack of sleep, or appetite, to stop worrying about his treacherous thoughts, that he was sure Joe was able to read on his face right now. 

Most of all, he needed _all_ of them to stop naively thinking that they were even remotely ready for a mission. Not with Andy’s mortality, not with Quynh’s precarious mental health, not with Booker still having suicidal thoughts. Not with Nicky freaking out at the simple mention of a mission. 

“I… I’m tired, Yusuf,” he finally replied. And he was, even too tired to voice all these tormented musings. 

Joe accepted his meagre answer, kissing him on the forehead, an incredibly tender gesture that nearly brought Nicky to real tears this time. 

Nicky let himself be guided to their bedroom, where they silently got ready for bed. Joe didn’t drift too far, even when they were brushing their teeth, or changing into their pyjamas, always keeping close and sharing the occasional touch.

“I don’t think we are ready,” Nicky finally repeated some time later in the darkness of their room, under their covers and safe in their usual embrace. 

He felt Joe’s embrace grow tighter, his beard softly scratching his neck, a feather touch of his lips on Nicky’s shoulder.

“I think you are right as always, Hayati, we are not ready,” Joe easily agreed.

Nicky sighed, knowing that something else was following that statement though, and Joe didn’t make him wait long before continuing. 

“When are we going to be, my love? Twenty years, a hundred years?” He probed gently, not really expecting an answer from Nicky though. 

“I think we need this, and you above us all, my heart, as I know for a fact that you will never forgive yourself if we don’t do all we can to help stop those cruel people.”

Nicky sighed again, a broken shudder this time, as he squeezed his eyes in the vain attempt to stop the tears from freely running down his cheeks.

“I don’t know if I have the strength, Yusuf, look at me now…” He then answered while angrily brushing the stubborn tears that clung to his eyelashes. 

Joe took his hand, gently rolling him over to properly look at him. He brought his knuckles to his lips, scolding them for the angry gesture with a light kiss.

“Nicolò, light of my life, after all these years you still underestimate how strong you are, and how crucial your strength is for this family.”

Nicky almost scoffed, but his husband didn’t let him voice any rebuttal.

“Didn’t you see how shocked everybody was when you uttered those words after dinner?” Joe asked instead. “We all count so much on your hope, strength and determination that we are all left speechless when they are unexpectedly taken from us.”

“I’m also pretty sure that Quynh blames Booker for your lapse in faith, for a moment I thought she would stab him at the dinner table.”

Nicky did smile at that, as of course he had noticed his sister’s murderous glare and Booker’s guilty expression. Joe then smiled in return, as he always did, and kissed his hand again.

“You don’t owe us anything, my heart,” Joe added seriously, because he wanted to make sure that Nicky knew that he had every right to feel any feeling, no matter what his family expected. 

“But you owe yourself the chance to be true to your nature, and help those in need,” he continued with fervour. “We might not be ready yet, but you are, Habibi. You always are.”

* * *

After being woken up by some vigorous knocks on her door, Nile had changed out of her pyjamas and followed Andy and Quynh to Joe’s and Nicky’s flat without many questions. Partially because she was still half asleep, but mostly because she trusted their judgment when it came to Nicky and his sometimes cryptic behaviour. And in all truth she really wanted to hug him and Joe herself, still feeling some residual uneasiness after their reactions the previous night.

Nile was a bit surprised to see Booker already waiting for them outside the entrance, although Andy and Quynh seemed to expect it. 

“You, _Bookah_ ,” Quynh addressed the other immortal without preamble. “Drop the sad puppy eyes act and leave the talking to Andromache and myself.”

Nile couldn’t help but feel some pride at Quynh’s perfect use of the _sad puppy eyes_ expression. She really was a quick study. 

“And no,” Quynh continued without giving Booker the chance to reply. “You won’t get to speak, not this morning, not even to apologise.”

Andy turned her head slightly, barely managing to hide her grin. She clearly found the situation hilarious.

“I can’t believe you managed to corrupt my _Chiến Thắng’s_ beautiful and hopeful soul. Do you have any idea how long it took me to unveil it when we first met?!” 

Nile was starting to get an idea herself, considering the deep bond that the two immortals shared. That could only have been the result of a centuries long brother and sister relationship.

“Come on, my dear, that’s enough. I’m pretty sure Joe triaged the situation last night anyway,” Andy intervened before her wife could further prolong her lecture. 

And that was how on the day after, as part of yet another strange tacit agreement, they all found themselves gathered in Joe’s and Nicky’s kitchen once again.

Neither Joe nor Nicky seemed surprised.

Nile kind of expected Nicky to take over his usual role and start to take care of his family, he did seem at peace again, so she thought that Andy had been for the umpteenth time annoyingly right, that Joe had fixed everything the night before. 

However she was proven wrong when the other immortals didn’t allow Nicky to as much as lift a finger, overturning any of their traditional expectations. Booker started cooking instead, to Nile’s great shock and slight concern, while everybody in turn smothered Nicky with cuddles or idle chats, keeping him as comfortable as possible on the sofa. 

Nile had the feeling that Nicky was patiently bearing with his family, as he often did, and her suspicion was only confirmed when he looked at her with a mixture of affection and a _lord give me strength_ expression. 

The impromptu breakfast went surprisingly well though, Booker wasn’t a disastrous cook all in all, and when Nicky timidly asked for more details on the mission after all, everybody seemed to release the huge breath they were holding.

Nile looked at her family then, eyes shifting from face to face, just as she had done the night before. Joe couldn’t stop proudly grinning from ear to ear, Andy ruffled Nicky’s hair affectionately, Quynh smacked a kiss on his cheek, Booker shyly curved his lips upwards. 

Nile herself felt a smile growing broad on her face, as at last the universe felt at balance once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I thinking to **perhaps** add an extra chapter post mission AKA more feels and angst? _Maybe..._
> 
> Would you, by any chance, like to read it?
> 
> In the meantime, thank you so much for reading this one, leaving kudos and lovely comments! As usual, all the feedback is much appreciated ❤️


	3. Habits and Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first mission after the long hiatus doesn’t exactly go as planned.

Things were going pretty smoothly before turning into a complete mess. 

Everybody had kept their position, everybody had followed the plan. Despite being their very first mission with the six of them all together, the long hours spent training and honing their synchronisation had certainly paid off: not even an hour from their arrival they had successfully gathered all the evidence they needed to send the organ traffickers to jail - indefinitely. 

It felt good. 

They were making a stealthy exit when a new group of guards appeared at the end of the long corridor ahead of them. Heavily armed and clearly not worried about subtlety, they did not hesitate throwing a grenade at them, quickly taking cover behind the corner. 

The problem with grenades, Nicky thought as the round object was quickly rolling towards them, was that they always left you with less than six seconds to properly react and minimise the damage. 

One year ago they wouldn’t have been too bothered about it, this time though they had a very mortal Andy with them, and under no circumstances could they allow even a fragment to hit her. Nor could they allow it to shred them to pieces themselves, leaving Andy to deal with the five (if he had counted right) super soldiers around the corner.

Time seemed to stretch as he watched Joe and Nile, the closest to Andy in their current formation, have the exact same instinct and push Andy to a small storage room at their left, both shielding her with their bodies.

With that small hiding spot out of commission, Nicky was left with the other only available alternative: going back to the lab they had just exited.

“Grenade!” 

He shouted at the other two immortals behind him, not sure they had seen the weapon at all, and promptly pushing Quynh and Booker back towards the lab. Nicky felt the heat of the detonation and some of the shrapnel pierced the skin of his back and left arm before the three of them ended up in a heap on the floor. 

They were all sporting small scratches and scrapes already half healed, but no major injuries, he was relieved to assess as soon as he had regained his bearings. 

“Everybody okay?” He asked nonetheless, because it was always good to check. 

Same as himself, Quynh and Booker didn’t seem too happy about the sudden turn of events, however they quickly reassured him that they were unscathed. 

As he lifted himself from the floor, Nicky felt a weird pang of pain in his left arm. After a quick inspection he didn’t spot signs of injury though, so he pushed the thought to the back of his mind.

“We need to check on Andy,” Quynh urged while reloading her gun. “And kill those motherfuckers.”

Both Nicky and Booker nodded in agreement, ready to leave the room once again, when the automatic door suddenly closed in front of them, almost breaking Booker’s arm and effectively locking them inside. 

Almost at the same time an alarm started blaring and the fire sprinklers started to shower them in freezing water. They became soaked in a matter of seconds and Nicky noticed with horror that the room seemed to be hermetic, as no water was passing under the door. 

They had to act quickly and _he had to be with Quynh_. He exchanged a brief look with Booker, who nodded in understanding and began tampering with the door. Nicky trusted him to yell if he needed his help.

Quynh was already kneeling on the floor, face hidden under her folded arms, as she tried to shield her eyes from the continuous spray of water. Nicky’s heart broke anew at the sight of his strong sister once again mercilessly shuttered by her trauma.

“Oh, Moonflower,” he murmured mournfully as kneeled by her side and held her protectively to his chest.

In the past year, Quynh’s progress had been nothing but impressive. Her quick improvement had not surprised the oldest members of the guard, who were very aware of her strength (and stubbornness). Nevertheless they still recognised how admirable her progress had been, and together with the rest of their family they were all in awe of her displays of resilience. 

Showers had been difficult at the beginning. Any form of water, really, had been an easy trigger to panic attacks and episodes of dissociation, the latter also having been her only way of survival during the centuries spent at the bottom of the ocean. 

However, thanks to Andy’s and Nicky’s extensive research, everybody in the family had learned how to deal with those episodes. Little by little they had become less frequent, only a couple of minutes long and much easier to manage.

_I’m tired of being treated like I’m going to break_ , she had confessed to him after a particular rough panic attack. _I’m tired of breaking so easily_. Nicky had held her tightly back then, and they had spent the entire afternoon snuggling on the sofa, watching silly programmes and eating junk food. _No, Nicolò, I don’t want you to spend hours preparing your healthy snacks, I want you to come back here with that pack of crisps and cuddle me_. He had rolled his eyes at her antics, yet gladly obliged right away.

Showering had stopped being an issue quite quickly, as Qyunh had learned to focus on the water’s warmth and all the soothing scents she could choose to wash her hair and body. They had learned she loved Nile’s white musk shower gel and Nicky’s citrus shampoo and made sure to never go without.

Cold water, on the other hand, was something they had yet to master. Sudden rain could still trigger her, although she had learnt to control the attacks long enough to safely break down once she was with her family. 

However, it was not surprising that the steady spray of freezing water coming from the ceiling that slowly but surely was pooling at their knees, together with the claustrophobic feeling of being stuck inside a room, had completely destroyed Quynh’s chances to have any control over her reaction.

Nicky kept holding her, murmuring sweet words of comfort in her ear, while also keeping a close eye on Booker’s progress.

He almost panicked himself when they heard gunshots outside their room, his worry for Andy, Joe and Nile spiking again. Fortunately he was quickly reassured when Booker started to talk with them through the door, and they quickly explained that they had incapacitated the extra security with no damage taken. 

He listened as Booker described their plight in return and Nicky could hear the worry in Andy’s voice, Joe’s quiet reassurances and Nile’s practical suggestions. 

In the end it was Nile who saved the day once again, managing to deactivate the alarm and automated locks through the central control panel she had found on the upper level. 

After spending forty-five excruciating minutes soaked in water and trapped in a room though, Quynh was in no condition to leave the building on her feet. She was still badly shaking and barely aware of her surroundings as Nicky lifted her from the floor and carried her outside. 

For the second time that night he felt a pang of pain in his arm, still unable to explain what the problem was. However, Nicky was too busy to further investigate.

Andy didn't leave Quynh's side, following Nicky closely as he carried her and joining them in the back of their minivan, where the three of them sat nestled together.

* * *

The car ride was quiet and predictably grim. Nile was driving, occasionally peeking through the rearview mirror to check on the trio at the back. Booker was at her side, while Joe was sitting in the middle row, fully turned towards Andy, Quynh and Nicky himself.

Nicky could easily read what was going through his husband’s head, most likely the same thing that was going through Andy’s. They were both feeling guilty for suggesting to take the mission, despite Nicky’s initial hesitation. 

He, on the other hand, had no regrets.

“We did the right thing and I’m sure Quynh thinks the same,” he stated quietly but firmly. 

Both Joe and Andy looked at him incredulously but he held their gaze with calm determination. Nicky could feel Nile and Booker listening as well. 

“There’s nothing we could have done to prevent or even predict what has actually happened. I suspect that strong triggers such as the combination between claustrophobia and water will keep affecting Quynh for a while, but this doesn’t mean that she’s not ready for any missions at all.” He tightened his embrace and briefly kissed her wet hair before continuing.

“We just need to take this into consideration and be even more prepared next time.”

Joe looked at him with big adoring eyes, melting Nicky’s heart and making him wonder, even after almost a millennium, how could he deserve such pure and infinite love from the other man. 

“You are too beautiful for this world, my heart,” Joe then added, as if Nicky hadn’t perfectly heard the same words through Yusuf’s incredibly expressive eyes. 

Andy shook her head at Joe’s romantic antics, but she was wearing a small smile herself, possibly ruefully agreeing with his husband's hyperbolic statement for once. 

Nicky didn’t bother to object as he would usually do, willing to leave it be if it meant that he had convinced them that they had nothing to be guilty of. He simply returned their smiles, closed his eyes and enjoyed the rest of the ride.

* * *

By the time they reached their safehouse, around two hours later, Nicky had finally figured out why his left arm kept hurting. Pushing hard enough on the sore spot he had actually been able to feel the shrapnel stuck on the bone. He also knew that the only solution was to cut the skin open and forcefully pull the shrapnel away. 

That was another reason why they all hated landmines and grenades: there was always a stubborn fragment that wouldn’t leave their bodies willingly. 

He briefly mentioned it to Joe, who grimaced in sympathy and offered to help him as soon as they were inside, while Nile complained about how their immortality could be quite useless sometimes. Nicky found her grumpiness adorable. 

Quynh, albeit increasingly more and more alert, didn’t really want to leave Nicky’s side even after they all quickly changed and helped her into dry clothes. Andy even blew dry her hair while Joe was gathering all the supplies to perform the micro surgery. 

That’s how the three of them ended up all snuggled together once again: Quynh safely sandwiched between her wife and Nicky himself, all laying on the big queen size bed in Andy’s and Quynh’s room.

Joe was kneeling by the bed, anesthetic and scalpel at hand and Nicky nodded his consent, pulling his arm out for better access.

“Be gentle with my Chiến Thắng, Yusuf, he was so good to me today.” 

Nicky, and gauging by their startled reactions, Andy and Joe as well, were quite surprised to hear Quynh talk and even more surprised that she was aware of what was about to happen. Then again, it was yet another confirmation of her incredible strength and willpower, that made him feel a new surge of love and admiration.

“It’s okay, Fiorellino, I’ll barely feel it,” he reassured her warmly.

Still, when the shrapnel proved to be _extremely_ stubborn and he felt sweat beading on his forehead because of the pain of the prolonged probing, he also felt his Moonflower squeeze his hand in comfort, once again very aware of what was happening. 

Nicky didn’t care about the pain then, he didn’t care about the organ traffickers or all the grenades in the world. He simply felt grateful to have the most loving husband he could ask for, grateful for a sister that would never stop pampering him, even when feeling at her lowest. 

  
He felt grateful to have his family, _his whole family_ , with him, once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! Sorry it took me ages to get this done, got caught up writing not one but three chapters of _Coda_... Ooops.  
> Of course this wouldn't have happened without the amazing **ilostmyothersock** ❤️
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed it and as usual I’d love to hear your thoughts! ❤️
> 
> Fiorellino = Italian for _little flower_ (endearment term).


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